Shoes: Shoe-icide

I'm the kind of person that listens to the radio and likes to rock out to a good beat.  I often sing along and absorb the words before I even know what they are and what they mean.  There was a song on the radio this morning by Fabolous (the spelling error is not mine).  Part of the lyrics call to me-
"..Louis Vuitton shoes, she got too much pride. Her feet are killing her, I call it shoe-icide.  Looking good has its sacrifices..."
To be honest, I have no idea what the song means as a whole.  But I think I have shoe-icide. 
It all started with Barbies.  In order to properly dress a Barbie and get a dress on her, you had to turn her upside down, shove her head on the floor, and scoot her clothes on.  THE SHOES NEVER STAYED ON!  This was before I knew about duct tape, crazy glue, or fun tack.  I used to take it as a personal affront that her shoes would not stay on.  While I was creative enough to pretend my Barbie was a runaway trying to make it on the streets, I was not creative enough to have my Barbie be a barefooted Hippie.  The obsession was born.
I used to play dress up in my aunt's heels.  She worked in an office and got to dress to impress.  I tried to glue her fake eyelashes on and after that debacle, trying to wear stilettos was it. 
For most of my life, shoes were practical and either black or brown, flat or small heeled, or boots.  Then, I had a bad day at work.
I'm known for making major purchases after a bad day at work.  Once, I drove out to Ikea and looked at office bookcases, home entertainment cabinetry, and kitchen storage with my husband.  When he asked which one I planned on buying for that day, I said, "Yes." 
Shoe-icide began after another horrid work day and a trip to Macy's shoe department.  All of a sudden, shoes with colors, height, patterns, buckles, bows, zippers called to me.  It was my own Sex and the City moment.  Four pair later, I was set.  To see my collection now, those were tame.
Now...I have...clogs, shoes that tie around my ankle, two inch heels, three inch heels, and a four incher.  (I bought and returned a 5 incher- that was not practical.)
People tell me, "Oh, your feet must hurt."  First off, due to an old and recurring back injury, flats hurt my back.  I discovered that heels actually FELT GOOD for my back.  Second of all, yes, if you wear high heels and the toes come to a point and your toes are up ON point, then yes, it will hurt.  That's nuts!  I find gems without pointy toes and that have a flat foot if you can imagine.  I can run in them if needed.  (And I have.  And by running, I mean briskly walking with my arms pumping.)
So, while I may have "Shoe-icide" with respect to looking good having its sacrifices...financial sacrifices...I respectfully disagree with Mr. Fabolous.  It's not a matter of pride, it's good old fashioned frilly Barbie fun.  And my feet aren't killing me!  (Just my toes and technically, they aren't feet right?  They are part of the foot like fingers are part of the hand.  When your finger hurts, you say "My finger hurts" not your hand.  So when Mr. Fabolous says my feet are killing me, there's a semantic disagreement with which my lawyer would certainly argue in court bypasses any legally binding statement that indeed confirms or denies the pain threshold of said foot.........)
Shoe-ishly Yours,
Dr. BT