The following was written one year ago as I embarked on a new journey- prepping for a half marathon. Mind you, while I previously screamed at walking on the boardwalk and did a 5K in the “strolling” category, I was not to be deterred. I am hard core. I either go 0% or 100% with everything I do. This was 100%...for a while. This vignette sets the stage for what’s to come…my road to healthiness or “Life Style Change.” *Gag* Enjoy!
I live in a community complete with a home owner’s association, town houses that are less respected than single homes (as evidenced by town homers needing to walk to communal areas to pick up the mail), and women who walk their dogs while their children are at school. Without fail, every morning, as I make a left out of my street, there they are- the dog walkers. They follow the rule of “ride with and walk against.”
Unfortunately, my rule infested home owner’s association does not have a rule preventing them from walking four or five abreast with their canines subsequently taking up the lane we are to share as well as some of the other I am forced into as a result. It gets my blood boiling every morning, for at least 10 seconds, a little bit of my father comes out in my internal dialogue when I yell at them (without opening my mouth) to get off of the ducking road. But the word really isn’t ducking.
It would not be a stretch to say I am against exercise. Not in principle, mind you, but in the design: sweat, multiple showers, planning ahead, dressing foolishly, sticking to a routine, and feeling guilty about eating hot dogs…with French fries…cooked in peanut oil and dipped in vinegar. Oh, my…
That’s not to say I haven’t given it a go. I did not participate in sports as a student. I was on the music and academic track. After college, I took a kickboxing aerobics class twice a week that was awesome! Awesome until I took a week off to go on vacation and came back to find that in that week, the routines got more complicated and I could not follow. My type A personality could not deal with not doing something perfectly.
Joining gyms constantly calls to me. I signed up for one, went ten times, and not after that. It was time to renew and I did with the reasoning of, “If I pay for it and don’t go, I am punishing myself.” I punished myself extremely well that year. You would think that I would have learned but at the time that I moved into my new home, there was a gym with tanning booths and a whirlpool in the locker room not three minutes down the road. I joined that as well. Two years later, I cancelled. I thought it was really considerate of them to sing on my answering machine for two of my birthdays even though no one there knew what I looked like. Perhaps if they had called and sang, “Where are you..?” things would have been different.
Thanks to a gauntlet thrown down by a colleague who successfully completed a half marathon and was still on a high, a bunch of us went to a meeting to hear about her ideas for us to participate in a half marathon as a team. I went to get info. Then I saw who was there. And they saw I was there. I kept saying things like “stamina” and “schedules” and “hot dogs” and “not a fit” but they ignored me and said I could train for it “no sweat.” Let me repeat- I do not: exercise, walk, run, do crunches, empty the dishwasher or expend the energy to fold clothes. I bought an awesome exercise program with a trampoline and DVDs. I used it for a week straight when I was at the shore. It currently serves as a cat bed.
So, today was my first day at giving the training a go. Had I not been accountable to a coworker, I would have passed. It was 30 degrees out! I wore butt ugly black shiny pants and a skull cap advertising my favorite band- I don’t do hats. I swear I slowed my partner down but she argued otherwise. We talked about nothing specific but every word was laborious and hurt. The hills (maybe a 1 degree angle) kicked my Tush but I didn’t want to complain. The thirty minutes passed and before I knew it, I was disappointed we weren’t walking more and had plans to meet twice next week. On the drive home, I plotted out a 3 mile lap in my neighborhood with some hills to try twice before we meet again. I caught myself smiling at a runner. AND, most importantly, I walked to my mailbox! I got there quicker then ever before and was not even annoyed about it.
I have no idea if I will make it to the half marathon in April, if I will make it through the training, or if I will make it through next week. Maybe. Perhaps like Cookie Monster and his greatest love, I will learn that hot dogs with French fries are a “sometimes snack.” And maybe tomorrow when I make that left turn out of my street, I’ll smile at the Canine Runners and share the road with a new appreciation.
Stay tuned to find out what happens next…can you make any predictions? J
Hard Core-ly Yours,
Dr. BT
